A Sibling for The Private or Alpo as Seniors

The Commander sent me an e-mail today (several, in fact) with these tasty little tidbits about our financial future.

For example

If we wanted to ship The Private off to Colombia in 15 years, we would need to save $429K (assuming that she find 10% of her tuition in grants for all four years). This is the adjusted amount for inflation and includes living expenses. Piece of cake! All we have to do is save $30K per year.

Are you hyperventilating yet? I was at this point and it gets worse!

In order to retire, we need to save $2.6 MILLION including social security that will, by the time we’re ready to collect it, be a funny little thing to think about like the $2 bill and the Whig party. To achieve this modest goal we would need to save $15K a year.

I think that I need a drink.

So if we want to have a second kid, we would need a mere $858K to get everyone through college. Sure. No problem. Did I mention that I work for a non-profit? Oh, and let’s not even go into the financial ups and downs of lesbian baby making.

Fuck it, I’m going shopping tomorrow. Retirement funds, college educations and Alpo be dammed The General need a fly-ass pair of shoes.



Tags: , , , ,

4 Responses to “A Sibling for The Private or Alpo as Seniors”

  1. amy Says:

    the whig party.. laughing hysterically..

  2. amy Says:

    hi. that’s actually NOT including social security. that’s 2.5M in addition to social security. so you actually need more. the vodka is in the cupboard.

  3. Gina Says:

    Holy Shit! Ummm, k, so there is absolutely no way I’m having a kid now. Not that I was thinking about it anyway, but now it’s really a done deal.

  4. ewee Says:

    yeah, i’m with gina…the dogs don’t cost as much, even with our fancy agility class dreams. but the retirement thing is sad, eh? what i’d give for a job with a pension. a real pension…

Leave a Reply